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Thundercunt
Michelinman2
Artist's rendition of Thundercunt

Born:

1990

Family:

Thea, Salacious Quinn, Kristin the Hutt

Friends:

?

Past romances:

The Penis He Thought Was His Own, That Ignorant, Ignorant Cowboy, Air Bear, Collin Chess Brother

Known for:

Causing all sorts of trouble!

Thundercunt (known to none as Tango Charlie) is a girl who owns a bunch of cats and rabbits, and is the pasty, doughy daughter of a woman who owns a venue where Kill Harbert, That's Adultery, and We'll Have No Heroes performed one fine evening. Additionally, she graciously donated large portions of time to help make That's Adultery t-shirts. She is the BFF/double-ex-gf of That Ignorant, Ignorant Cowboy, as well as ex-gf of The Penis He Thought Was His Own, Collin Chess Brother and Air Bear. Tango Charlie also engaged in a brief but nasty affair with Old Saint Nick during the "Do you want some gummies, Sweetheart?" debacle. She is an avid cheese enthusiast and it is rumored that she is actually made of cheese: Kraft Crumbles for ribosomes and fondue for interstitial fluid. Another theory, though, holds that she is in fact a product of Pillsbury Company, an experiment gone awry, an abberation and a terrible mistake.

Cheese Edit

In response to an online survey, Tango Charlie ranked her favorite cheeses in order. Here is that list:

FavoritesEdit

  1. Colby Jack
  2. Asiago
  3. Monterey jack
  4. Provolone
  5. Extra sharp cheddar
  6. Swiss
  7. Feta
  8. String cheese
  9. Cheddar
  10. Cream cheese

WarningEdit

Tango Charlie is known to be a powerfully addictive substance, though only people with certain mind-ravaging personality complexes are susceptible to its grip.

Known AddictsEdit

  1. That Ignorant, Ignorant Cowboy
  2. Old Saint Nick
  3. Mr. Condrey

Knowledge of Bugs Edit

When members of the Barta Gretek community began to disperse around the globe in search of fresh opportunities and renewed inner-life, Thundercunt and The Penis He Thought Was His Own remained attached at the hip, moving in together on the outskirts of the bustling metropolis of San Ferncisco. The Penis expected a budding romance to blossom as the sun rose each day, the light beaming through the blinds and dappling Thundercunt's doughy skin. The relationship, however, was not in the cards. Thundercunt engaged in constant unhygienic and antisocial behaviors, such as drenching the bathroom floor in cheesewater and having sex with Air Bear on the kitchen counter. The final straw was drawn when her sadistic passive aggression allowed a hive of boll weevils to develop in a rotting sack of taters that Thundercunt had stashed away to biodegrade into poop and vomit. The Penis' knowledge of the bugs caused him to fly into a frenzy, clamping his balls together with a chip clip and pouring the potato mulch into Thundercunt's asshole.

Quotable Quotes Edit

Thundercunt: you didn't know I drank?!?!?!?! I love being drunk!

Thundercunt: Hey, look! A Led Zeppelin!

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