FANDOM





MC Yahweh
Danielryanharris
"To fly, fight and win ... in air, space and cyberspace."

Born:

1990

Family:

Papa Bearis, Mama Bearis, Sister Bearis

Associated acts:

That's Adultery, Future Pangaea, Machine City

Archenemy:

all those who act with misconduct and in poor taste.

Known for:

being transformed into a God Erection from a lowly sheep by the sorcerer Velvet Frog, being a God Erection, driving to Tahoe, blowing himself up with dynamite to quell an itch, kamikaze pilot in the US Air Force

MC Yahweh (born Danny Boy) is a supreme being and an ex-member of the band group That's Adultery, and was thus a major contributor to the Barta Gretek Records catalogue. Primarily active in the Post-Old Saint Nick era of the label, the controversial MC Yahweh has come to exemplify part of the unique charm that surrounds his insular musical and social community. He is known for immaculate enunciation of all of his words, leading some to criticize him as a "square," though the allegation remains far from the truth. MC Yahweh's distinct voice has been compared to Slick Rick, and his style and demeanor served as an enthralling foil to his onstage counterpart, The Flesh of Bulls. MC Yahweh also has had surgery on his testicles. A game of bowling once caused the stitches in his groin to tear.

History Edit

DHARRIS

MC Yahweh in the years before The Assimilation.

Early History Edit

MC Yahweh was born into a primarily blue collar family near Sacramento, California as the result of an immaculate conception. He grew up in relative obscurity, often frequenting the local public pool and earning money by mowing the lawn. A precocious young man, MC Yahweh engaged in combat with his orthodontist and with the pompous and widely scorned douchebag Alex Pleffka, shaping him into a warrior with abilities beyond both Goku and Kid Buu combined. Shedding off extraneous pounds in his late adolescence, he was recognized as a force to be reckoned with by both The Flesh of Bulls, still struggling with his own obesity, and the lanky doofus The Penis He Thought Was His Own, finding the handsome MC Yahweh striking to admire.

The Assimilation Edit

In late 2007, MC Yahweh was drugged with a double dose of Ambien and kidnapped in his sleep by The Penis He Thought Was His Own and The Flesh of Bulls. Unbeknownst to MC Yahweh, he spent a week hypnotized, undergoing grueling labor. The pair subjected the unconscious MC Yahweh to a series of intensely sexual torture renditions and brainwashing trials which implanted a belabored sense of duty and commitment to his captors, whom he'd previously disregarded entirely as austere placemats and unstable toolsheds. The next morning at school, MC Yahweh was asked to provide guest vocals on what would become That's Adultery's "Drink a Bite to Eat at Ten, Two and Four O'Clock". As per his conditioning, MC Yahweh was psychologically required to assent, and he did.

The Nudge Edit

Not long after the intentionally induced Stockholm's Syndrome scandal, MC Yahweh was asked to become a permanent member of That's Adultery, the third rapper to take on this responsibility. After his addition to the band group, tensions ran high as the three rappers realized that there wasn't enough room in the band group for the all of them. With no influence from the altruistic MC Yahweh, The Penis He Thought Was His Own and MC Yahweh finally decided to slowly phase Old Saint Nick out of the band group and feature MC Yahweh more prominently, replacing Old Saint Nick's goofy clown shoes with MC Yahweh's sophisticated loafers. Old Saint Nick & DJ Judge Reinhold, then, became the outlet that allowed MC Yahweh to effortlessly wrangle the spotlight from his palsied band groupmate.

Descent Into Madness & Death Edit

Dandead

Goodnight, sweet prince of the stage, sultan of the celluloid, man of the hour and our tragic hero, the Messiah.

After a long bout of celibacy and freedom from the shackles of drugs and alcohol, MC Yahweh destroyed his clarity of mind and purity of thought with a long series of harmful drugs and week long binges of beer and Bacardi Grand Melon. During his descent into madness, Yahweh, using his clout as a thespian, scored one of the lead roles in the Barta Gretek production of Albert and the Amazing Washing Machine and delivered an infamously erratic performance. His appearance at That's Adultery's functions became more and more sporadic, he was laid off from his high paying gig at Circuit City, and he blew through broken whores like a February freeze. One morning, after a long night of partying, BLUGUGUGing and deteriorating various vaginal elasticities, MC Yahweh was found dead on a washing machine. The great irony of the image, mirroring his role in his last known film, became immediately iconic and known the world over.

What Cleanliness is Next To Edit

Throughout his career as a poet and rapper, allegations have continually circled that MC Yahweh is the second coming of the Messiah Jesus Christ, or even the sweet Lord Himself. Although MC Yahweh denies these claims vehemently, there is ample evidence that supports this theory. It is imperative to recognize that everything about this boy can be described as mathematically perfect and ideal. He speaks like the bastard son of Stentor and Marcus Tillius Cicero, takes each step with the grace and precision of a ballet dancer, and never acts out of any compulsion but pure and unadulterated benevolence. As perpetuated by the song "Vitamin D Harris", theories have been disseminated that a pint of MC Yahweh's blood staves off death itself and also helps to calcify soft tissue in the absence of Vitamin K. Even irreligious blasphemers agree, if not a diety that Harris should at least be classed as an enlightened despot or a nimble demigod.

Quotable Quotes Edit

MC Yahweh: Batteries poison things!

MC Yahweh: Sure, sure...

MC Yahweh: We're not going to In-N-Out.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.