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Greenoaks

Green Oaks beavers, we are the best!

Green Oaks Fundamental Elementary School is an elementary school located on Filbert in Orangevale, California. Both members of boy band group Kill Harbert attended the school as well as Knights member, KA47, offering countless memories and song ideas. It was run by an elderly, gullible man named Mr. Cook who retired in 2008. It is now run by some douche by the name of Robby Rotten Reynolds.

School Pride Edit

Green Oaks is known widely for it's school pride. Many events are hosted such as the annual reading goals, spaghetti socials, spring performances, and roller nights to show how much better they are than other schools in the San Juan District.

Creation of the Beaver Buck and Attempt for Tax-Exemption Edit

After Mr. Cook took office, he knew right away what he must do: make his own civilization of 5-12 year olds and break away from the state. He did this by creating his own form of currency, the beaver buck, not to be confused with the Bessica Buck which was abolished back in the mid 90s. The people of Green Oaks earned beaver bucks by answering mindless questions concerning geography and spelling complicated words. They could then use the beaver bucks to buy goods at the Beaver Buck Store run by 's escorts. Whenever students would group up for meetings, it was mandatory to recite the school's song which included racism and violence:

"Green Oaks Beavers, we are the best

Our school is better than all the rest

See our colors green and white

Let's Stand up and cheer

Let's FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

Green Oaks Kids are awesome and smart

We don't do drugs and we'll never start *

Fundamental, full of pride

We're students at Green Oaks School!

HURRAY!"

(*Many students of Green Oaks Fundamental School have used or experimented with drugs shortly after leaving)

Seeing his plans of creating his own civilization and religion were finally coming into effect, Mr. Cook decided to get tax-exempt status for his efforts but was denied.

Scandal of 1999 Edit

Green Oaks was a heavy focus during 1999 when principle, Mr. Cook, was the prime suspect in the murder of the school's art teacher. The art teacher was reported to have woken up the morning of January 2, 1999 feeling drugged and confused. Ignoring this, she continued her daily routine to get ready for work when she noticed a balding, masculine figure behind her closet door. The stranger greeted her with a hearty chuckle and started to strangle the dazed art teacher with his colorful designer tie until the victim passed out by the kitchen table. The suspect then started to undress the victim who was wearing nothing but her pajamas from the night before. Then the suspect continuously thrusted his erect penis inside the unconscious victim until she started to awaken, he then grabbed the nearest object, a gillete razor blade located on top of the family kitchen table, and slit away at the wrists of the still dazed art teacher. The suspect then re-dressed the victim and faked the scene to look like a suicide. He then left the scene, but not before leaving a beaver buck in the rear sweatpant pocket of the victim. The victim was discovered an hour later by her husband and 3 kids who were out getting breakfast to suprise her before work. Mr. Cook was let off the hook in late 2000 when forensic scientists analyzed one of the pubic hairs at the scene as Mr. Olmested's, the P.E. teacher of the school, who was out to frame for his job since day 1. Before an arrest could be made, Mr. Olmested quit teaching and left the country.

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