Don is an awesome homeless guy who often sleeps at Donut King. Little is known about Don except that he collects social security and is on a neverending quest to reach Nevada, where he can receive a driver's license and become a truck driver. Other things that are know about Don is he spends a lot of time in laundromats, his friend once blew up a gas station pump by running into it with his car, and that he has a son.

Don dislikes big cities because the streets move around too much, like planes shifting back and forth and up and down. Perpetual earthquakes shaken into motion by the hustle and bustle of dailty city life. Don was once shot in the head near Walgreen's, but he turned out okay.