FANDOM



Dave the White Rapper is a band group formed by a Dave the white rapper named Dave the white rapper from Roseville, California, across the street from Royer Park. Dave warmly interrupted a Kill Harbert show to showcase his skills in his crude and racist rap that was documented on film. He has since been written large in Barta Gretek lore as both a hero and a fiend.thumb|298px|left

His Story, History. Edit

Birth and Early Childhood Edit

Dave the White Rapper was born a Dave The White Rapper sometime in the late 1950s to a school marm and a postal laborer. Not long after his birth, it was discovered that Dave was, in fact, a white lip flapper. Dave took to his potty training exceptionally fast at the supple age of 4 months. He became the marvel of his Leavitt Town utopia when he developed speech at 5 months. Combining his acumen for white lip flapping and his potty training, Dave the White Rapper made up songs while sitting on the crapper. He would sit on the porch with his plastic potty and spit rhymes cold and smooth. The neighborhood was so taken aback by his unique abilities that jealousy began to congeal in the underbelly of the picturesque community. On his first birthday, Dave was lynched by a group of disgruntled and unemployed fathers on his block, afterwards he was sent floating down the Mississippi, his former home torched and his loving family murdered.

Hakuna Matata Edit

Clutching onto a fortuitous sliver of driftwood, Dave made his way down into the Deep South. Dehydrated and malnourished, a case of post-traumatic amnesia came over the white rapper. His abilities as a white lip flapper, as an engineer of cleanly disposed feces and all of his previous memories were wiped clean. Found floating unconscious by two black slaves, they took him in and taught him their remarkable schlong-stretching techniques passed down orally from generation to generation. You think yours is long? His is even bigger. There they lived for many years, happy and together. But every night Dave would dream of his biological parents and he lip flapped in his sleep, much to the chagrin of the slaves. The slaves slapped Dave and gifted him Slim Whitman and Elvis Presley records to cure his impending delinquency, but Dave rejected the slaves antiquated forms of musical expression, saying that Slim and Elvis only sang because they couldn't talk like him. After a brief, but telling confontation, Dave drowned his mentors in the same river which they so graciously saved him from and cooked their flesh over a rotisserie grill, dreaming of the Big Apple. After hanging their skeletons like christmas ornaments on the local peach trees, Dave embarked on a mission to follow his dream.

Lyrical Content Edit

After hitting it big in New York, Dave channeled his resentment towards his former mentors in his lyrics. He often referred to "niggers" and alluded to the slaves hanging from the trees and being roasted. His incredibly racist lyrics were a hit in his former region of the South, but they also spelled danger for the rapper himself. Gangsters from New York, Chicago, Baltimore and other urban areas all traveled to try and murder Dave in an outstanding 1986 coup. Dave was forced into hiding, first finding refuge in Omaha, Nebraska where Enrico Caruso 78s still sold like hotcakes, and later found himself in Roseville, CA where he currently resides in crippling obscurity.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.